After thinking about yesterday’s post regarding the ACC Coastal (https://obblegend.com/2022/08/06/if-the-acc-coastal-were-90s-bands/), I decided there’s no better time than now to do the same for the inbred distant cousins on the other side of the conference.
So, without further ado, here’s the 90’s albums that best represent the other side of this god forsaken football conference.
Significant Other by Limp Bizkit
Clemson found themselves directly in the middle of a bunch of offseason moves that sent their longtime DC, Brent Venables, to Oklahoma. Their OC, Tony Elliot, was also lost to ACC foe, UVA. In a string of in-house hires, their new coordinators for both sides of the ball get promoted from within. This was not a surprise to most. This is the “Clemson way”. Their massive Californian QB DJ Uiagalelei was a massive failure last year, not coming anywhere near the lofty expectations set by the Tiger faithful before last year’s relative let down in an era where Clemson has absolutely dominated the ACC. Their defense is anchored by quite a few incredible athletes without losing much to the NFL draft this past season. Their offense has some very solid skill players but will only get as far as their offensive line and DJ (or Klubnik) will take them.
Ahhh yes, Nu Metal. I can smell the sweaty mosh pit and hear the white dudes rapping poorly already. So so so edgy. Limp Bizkit was not the 90’s first Nu Metal band, but their second album absolutely took over the radio waves, reaching number one on the Billboard charts in week one. For a band (and football team) that everyone wanted to fail, it seemed (and seems) like it would never happen. Makes me wanna break stuff.
Core by Stone Temple Pilots
It is amazing to me people keep sleeping on this team, coach, and program overall. Since Dave Doeren took over the meddling Wolfpack program in 2013, he’s consistently brought this team to bowls and have beaten some really good teams. We should be thanking Coach Doeren for how many times he’s absolutely ruined the Seminoles’ season year in and year out. This is on top of going 9-3 overall this past season. They bring back perhaps the most underrated QB in the ACC, maybe the country, have the weapons on the outside needed, and a nasty defense.
STP is not a band ever brought up into the discussion when debating the best of the best, even in the 90’s. But damn if this album wasn’t really good. Just way too underrated, like NCST. Don’t sleep on them. Where ya going for tomorrow?
The Score by the Fugees
Can Jeff Hafley get a break at BC? Not yet at least. Since jumping onto the scene at Chestnut Hill, success hasn’t come easily for the prior Ohio Stare DC and it’s not necessarily his fault. Last year, Phil Jurkovec was lighting up the scoreboard before a very unfortunate injury ended his season early. He should be back at full strength with a very solid receiver out wide in Zay Flowers who reportedly turned down quite a significant amount of money to stay. I’m assuming it was the amazing clam chowder that keeps him from leaving. BC should be a competent, hard out this year. I hate playing them. And of course, they could beat any team in history on the red bandana night.
It seems like Boston College can’t get over that 7 win hump that always wrecks what seems to be a very good team. Killing their fans softly.
14:59 by Sugar Ray
What a fun year that was, am I right? The vaunted “Clawfense” of the Wake Forest Demon Deacons put up the 3rd most amount of points per game last season in an absolute thriller of a year. They return quite a few pieces, including their starting QB, Sam Hartman. Their defense is nothing to write home about but it shouldn’t matter too much when the fans in Winston-Salem are just happy to make an ACC championship game.
I remember listening to this album in my mom’s beaten up Corolla while cruising down A1A. The beach smelled awesome, the music made me happy, and nothing could bring me down. I have to imagine that’s how Wake Forest fans feel right now. Let the good times roll because they will end someday soon, just like Sugar Ray’s success as a band.
No Strings Attached by NSYNC
When I have to really look hard for anything good to say about a team, I usually don’t have a ton of hope. Dino Babers completely overhauled his coaching staff over the offseason in what seems like a Georgia Tech-esque Hail Mary attempt at revamping a program that rarely goes bowling. Only once in Coach Baber’s 6 years as HC have they made a bowl game, in year where they were widely successful. I don’t see that happening again this year.
This album doesn’t have much in common with Syracuse as a football team. But if Dino doesn’t take this team to at least the Dollar General Toilet Bowl, then he’ll be saying Bye, Bye, Bye to his job as an HC. But hey, I’d take him as an OC once Gattis leaves.
Four by Blues Traveller
Yet another half-team in the conference where offense rules and defense drools. Malik Cunningham anchors what should be an explosive offense in the L’Ville. They have one of the better offensive lines in the ACC. Skills players, as always, are pretty elite. But man… That defense. I expect much of the same for the Cardinals this season.
Fun. Lively. Not to be taken too seriously. Love that damn harmonica, though.
To The Extreme by Vanilla Ice
I’ll say one good thing about FSU this season, they made SOME good pickups in SOME key positions while shopping in the transfer portal.
Ok, got that off my chest. Now, off to the bad. This team is not good. Mike Norvell has not made any significant progress since stepping into Trailerhassee, and things don’t seem to be getting better anytime soon. There are holes all over this team. Jordan Travis can run a little bit. Cool. Their skill players are at perhaps, FSU’s worst level since I can remember. Their offensive line is dog doo-doo. Their defense is even worse. Great job fixing those toilets though, Seminole boosters!
Vanilla Ice sucks. His only success came from copying one of the greatest bands of all time. Does anyone actually like him? I cringe when I see that video and him desecrating our beloved Hurricanes. Do I know all the words to Ice Ice Baby? You’re damn right I do. Do I like it? No. No, I do not.
Bonus points for Mike Norvell being a Vanilla Ice impersonator in the 90’s.