I’m I.P. Daley with my college football preview…
It’s week three and to be quite honest, the schedule is a big flaming bag of poo. Regardless, I’m still being paid to write about it so let’s go…
FSU @ Louisville (Fri Night) – The last time FSU started 2-0 was in 2016 under head coach Jimbo Fischer. That’s also the last time my dear wife Margaret gave me a mouth hug. That season FS-Who marched into Louisville looking to go 3-0 before they were boat raced to the tune of 63-20. Thankfully for Seminole fans, I don’t expect as bad an evening this time around, although, you’re still going to lose. 31-28 Cardinals on a late FG after an FSU turnover.
UConn @ #4 Michigan – You might be asking yourself, why the hell is I.P. reviewing this dumpster fire of a game? Simple. It’s so I can send a message to the dumbass who decided this game should be on ABC at noon for the whole country to watch. Unless they have ponytails and are dribbling a basketball, no one cares about the University of Connecticut. Michigan wins 73-10 and Jim Mora returns to Storrs pant less.
#12 BYU @ #25 Oregon – The fightin’ John Smith’s are riding high after knocking off #9 Baylor on the road last week. Well, not high per say, just really happy since if any of them were to get high, they’d have to become a catholic. Despite my mocking, I think the guys in white shirts and ties will show up riding their bicycles Saturday (morning) in Oregon and continue their blessed start to the season. The whitest team in college football 24, the Quacks 17.
#13 Miami @ #24 Texas A&M – Lastly, it’s the game of the week between two programs who have been trying like crazy to get out of their own ways for the better part of decades. The Aggies lost at home to App State last week after their fans failed to squeeze their own testicles hard enough. I can assure you, they will not make that mistake again. TAMU 24, Canes 21 as all male Aggie fans will sacrifice their future ability to have kids to get this dub in primetime.
Until next week I’m IP Daley saying…What happens when you bring beer to a BYU party? All the girls put their panties back on and go home.