LEGENDARY. That is another episode in the books and it is Behind the Episode Chapter 43 Time. I couldn’t stop laughing as soon as the show started because I knew the bit was coming. I was randomly thinking in my car and legitimately contemplating the Miami Hurricanes red zone woes.  

Then it hit me. “Toast I have an idea for a bit.” Red zone dysfunction was born in the midst of serious thought but the Orange Bowl Boys reminded everyone, we act like little boys more often than not. Plus Orange Bowl Men doesn’t have the same ring.

Toast was given a simple blue print and that is his pure brilliance. He is going to say what he is going to say unabated and seemingly unafraid to any pure consequence. But his gift was on full display. He is so good when comedy and production collide at the intersection of life and his creativity. Vandagra is brought to you by OBB pharmaceuticals.

We would never work if we were picked up by ESPN. That bit never gets off the ground. But let’s not pretend the Miami Hurricanes don’t have Red Zone Dysfunction because they do. Regardless if the little blue pill can fix the RD or not, the Miami Hurricanes are 4-1 if they prioritized pay dirt a little bit more. We shipped a box of Vandagra to Josh Gattis’ office. 

My keys to the game are getting old because they have been the same thing for three weeks. Red zone woes and stop giving up explosive plays on repeat. The Miami Hurricanes are dead last in the country with 6 pass plays going over 50 yards. I honestly feel these kids think like Ed Reed but assignment football isn’t sexy to them. So they gamble and through five weeks the house is taking their lunch money. The house too. 

Andy Borregales is 8th in conference with 72% of his kicks made. The red zone is winning the award for lead actor in a dramatic series but Borregales is up for its supporting actor. Part of the reason the Miami Nights uniforms is going to be debuted at 3:30 is because we can’t make a higher percentage of kicks. It is something to watch moving forward. It reared its ugly head last year too.

We need to be 5-3 when FSU comes into town. Mario Cristobal has to get this ship righted this season to get some momentum. He doesn’t necessarily need momentum to recruit because he can still sell dreams. But the more you sell dreams the more others can sell their realities. And when you have realtors named Alabama and Ohio State, they don’t even bother selling dreams. It is beneath them.

We have too many South Florida kids on this team? What a silly argument. But I giggled because it’s the South Florida kids shaking hands with mistakes on the field this year. That isn’t necessarily a fair statement to make because a majority of the kids on the roster are from down here. Plus you’ll piss off Uncle Luke if you take too many non indigenous folk.

We paid bills then we cued the music for the Power Poll. Toast, under protest, put the Miami Hurricanes seventh which is dead last. I had the Bulls and Scoop went paws up which left us in a rare conundrum. Nobody could agree who the worst team in the state of Florida was. It isn’t the Miami Hurricanes but after three straight losses they sure feel like it.

Randomly Ramming is what we called it. That was a nod to the way Gattis and the running game decides to attack the red zone. Violette is in the hole? It is a baseball reference. You add that with Scoop’s golf reference and one thing is crystal clear, Behind the Episode Chapter 43 is in the books. We salute Willie Taggart for being 11th on the coaches hot seat. Take a bow Willie.